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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

A Checklist for Evaluating Our Maturity

These are some of the more important characteristics of a mature adult:
  1. We do not automatically resent criticism because we realize that it may contain a suggestion for improving ourselves. 
  2. We know that self-pity is futile and childish--a way of placing the blame for our disappointments on others. 
  3. We do not lose our temper readily or allow ourselves to "fly off the handle" about trifles. 
  4. We keep our head in emergencies and deal with them in a logical, reasonable fashion.  
  5.  We accept responsibility for our acts and decisions and do not blame some else when things go wrong.  
  6.  We accept reasonable delays without impatience, realizing that we must adjust ourselves to the convenience of others on some occasions.  
  7.  We are a good loser, accepting defeat and disappointment without complaint or ill temper. 
  8. We do not worry unduly about things we can't do anything about. 
  9. We don't boast or "show off," but when we are praised or complimented, we accept the praise with grace and appreciation and without false modesty. 
  10. We applaud others' achievements with sincere good will. 
  11. We rejoice in the good fortune and success of others because we have outgrown petty jealousy and envy. 
  12. We listen courteously to the opinions of others and even when they hold opposing views, do not enter into hostile argument. 
  13. We do not find fault with "every little thing" or criticize people who do things of which we might not approve unless the issues of concern are likely to be seriously harmful to that person or to others (and then we find the most helpful way possible to convey our concerns).  
  14. We show spiritual maturity by:  
  • accepting the fact that a Power greater than ourselves has an important place in our lives. 
  • realizing we are part of humankind as a whole, that our fellows have much to give us, and that we have an obligation to share with others the gifts that we have received. 
  • obeying the spirit of the Golden Rule:  "Do unto others as we would have them do unto us."

Adapted from Moral and Spiritual Values used by the Los Angeles, California, city schools in their education program.  I first saw it in the AL-ANON booklet Alcoholism is a Family Disease.

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